SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize