I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Randomize
