Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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