You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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