I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
