video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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