I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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