Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
