you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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