umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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