...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
