We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
