Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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