So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize