Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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