Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
