Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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