She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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