This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Everyone says I win the strip club
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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