he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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