he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize