Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Randomize
