My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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