apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
