I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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