just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
