Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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