perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
