i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize