He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
