I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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