what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
