I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We need to rekindle our bromance
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
