words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
