Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
