last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
