; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
