He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
