3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
