Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize