Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
