I think I died a long time ago.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
