he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
