My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The feeling are messing with the penis
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
