she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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