My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
