well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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