know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
