he wants to bone in the snuggie
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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