Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
