Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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