That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
