I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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