i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
