Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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