Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
How's work?
Spinning.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
