Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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