Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
