I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
