road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
