I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize