Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
