i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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